Confessions of a Newbie…

It’s been one month exactly since I became a blogger! Happy anniversary to us!Happy Anniversary | Vin'yet Etc.

Over 3 1/2 months since I’ve felt this way…

Snoopy dreaming of doing what he lovesSo why am I feeling so blah? Why the heck am I waking up in the middle of the night with self doubt! I have nothing to stress about, my family is uber supportive, loving and healthy, my friends all rock… Bud is my number one fan, the believer that, anything is possible. So what is wrong with me? Rhetorical question, please don’t fill in the blank… ;)

Am I a blogger?  What the heck is a blogger?

One definition I found; “A person who keeps updates on a blog.”, really, that’s it? How anticlimactic! Oh there are other posts on what it is to be a blogger, those quite frankly are very unfaltering and rude! Urban Smurban dictionary, pffft, you suck!

There are more blogs out there than I can shake a stick at, very well established blogs, with people following them… All are wonderful in their own right, how am I gonna get noticed, how will I inspire someone? How will I be followed & loved like the big “boys” seem to be? And why am I trying to get there a month into this process? Grrrrr…

Who do you think you are?

photo credit: wvs via photopin cc

I think we all strive to be the best we can, right?  The sick little fantasy I have to be an amazing photographer, a sought after interior designer, to have total acceptance and adoration, no idea that even existed in me until I started this process… that’s a lie, of course I always had and will have the desire to be liked, the rest of the fantasy, well you gotta go, cause I need my rest! All of that aside, I AM having a blast! The blogging network is very cool, supportive and fun… And I do love being creative, surrounded by creative and like minded people.

But still, nag, nag…

It’s all about the numbers! FB likes, pinterest follows, instagram followers, is your web site this and that, are your photos this and that, 12 easy steps to be noticed, oh my, info overload… Really, at 2:30 in the morning this is not what you want running through your brain! All of the pending projects that are in my head, all of the above hit me at once, awake, out of a dead sleep!  Scheduling, planing, pre-tweets! Really??? Wow I have so much to learn! I don’t even have RSS, what is RSS?

It didn’t make sense to me until this morning that I’m actually comparing my self to others, it’s very hard to sort through all the whirling thoughts at that time of night. I’m comparing my beginnings to everyone’s middle, I pinned a friggen inspirational saying to not do that, so why the heck am I doing that?!?!?

DontCompare

You know what, all of the blogs that I admire started at a beginning too… Why am I judging myself and comparing myself to the big hitters? Ya, sure I strive to be there one day, but really this is my beginning, and dammit I’m going to enjoy it! I sound angry, and I am, only at myself though… the insecure little girl is once again living inside me… she’s very annoying!

I realize now in the light of day, that you need to take the first steps before you can actually walk, let alone run.

How am I doing as a new blogger, I have no idea? I do know that comparing myself to others is just a recipe to be awake in the middle of the night and that’s not good… Is blogging the only thing I want to do, the answer to that is no. I have to look at this like an evolution, this is my beginning process, I have to treat it as such.

Am I perfect, nope, far from it! Have I made mistakes, oh ya, am I a writer, nope. I write with passion, truth and honest feelings, that’s what make me, me… Am I a pro photographer, nope, but I’m learning something I really love to do! I’m really glad for my readers and friends who are always commenting and who are so supportive, I am very happy to be exactly where I am right now. I just need to learn to love my imperfections… a life long battle.

imperfections-01-M

Lessons learned going forward, slow and steady, one day at a time, ask for help and learn from these sleepless nights, use them to backup and reload, focus!

Thanks for listening to this newbie and the self indulgence, aka “confessions”, now on to better and frankly, more exciting things… :D

What have we been up to? We’re pretty busy, there seems to be a plethora of projects in the hopper, we are very excited about that!

The Studio and the bits and pieces that go with that.

A stand for Judy, poor Judy, has no legs! A new lamp shade that was a happy accident, turned out kind of cool, rustic like. The work bench, I adore!  A new clock made out of a stovepipe collar. I just have some finishing touches, oh and the post to write up and that little project will be done. Little, is relative I guess…

Studio Collage Vin'yet Etc.

Our son Michael, is turning 23 on Wednesday! I have no idea where the time has gone, I was a baby when I had my baby! That my friends is a whole other post! ;) I miss his little face all of the time!

Cute Munk | Vin'yet Etc. He’s all grown up now, we are very proud of him!

Mr. Dickson | Vin'yet Etc.

He will be attending a professional audio school in September and we are working away on making his birthday gift, industrial desks, 2 of them (his design); I’m learning how to weld and saw through metal, very cool!

Industrial Desks | Vin'yet Etc.

We had an awesome evening out to listen to our son’s girlfriend, Seana sing the national anthem at a hockey game, she killed it BTW, even though my photos did not! :( I could not imagine getting up in front of a crowd to sing, we are very proud of her!!! <3 It was very cute to see Mike so nervous for Seana, adorable!

Seana singing

I’m going on a hunting trip this Saturday, Bud is coming with me, so it may be a controlled hunting trip. We’re going  to a little town called Almonte… This little store (Tin Barn Market) makes me crazy, in a good way of course! I can’t wait to go explore and let you know what I find!

Photography lessons, follow up lessons are on the horizon… But this is what I’ve been practising on so far…

Photo collage | Vin'yet Etc.

Our fur babies… Polly (our pup), the senior citizen and Kiefer (our kitten), our baby. The Clydesdale across the street from us, our family heirloom dishes and a Sunday afternoon smelling maple syrup boiling off… YUM!

If you made it all the way through this post, thanks for listening… I appreciate you reading it! Until the next post, let us know what you think, sweet dreams… hopefully!

~Laurie xo

 

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Comments

  1. This was so beautiful…so honest…had me thinking of when I started out with my Reiki and my new spiritual path..I questioned myself a lot at first…and yes did that silly comparison stuff…lol…anyway…let us always remember this Laurie…you’re awesome…I am awesome also :)…congrats on your bravery for following your dream xo

    • Thanks Lisa!! <3 I appreciate your support very much! Let all of us always remember that we are all awesome and inspire in our own way!
      ~Laurie xo

  2. Queenie Bernard says:

    Dearest Laurie..
    I just wanted to say you ROCK!!! You are doing a fantastic job. I personally look forward to your blog, and seeing what you have created and explored. You are blessed with so many talents. And all I can say is that I am so thankful that you care to share your life, and experiences and allow us all into your world of creativity and wonder. I look forward to the “New Beginnings.” xo Perhaps we will bump into one another in Almonte this weekend. I am heading out on Saturday as well. Take care.. :)

    • Thanks Queenie! xoxox I hope to see you in Almonte! That would be very cool! Maybe you’ll be in my next blog post! ;) Thanks for your words, they mean a great deal! <3
      ~Laurie xo

  3. Hi Laurie,
    I remember all the angst involved when I started our blog… the learning curve is steep but… once you learn something even a small little coding or social media thing then you know it. That little thing moves from the huge pile of “things I don’t know how to do” into the ” things in my bag of tricks” pile!
    Have a wonderful day,
    Cynthia

    • Thank-you Cynthia! I am my own worst enemy, you’re right, I need to look at each new thing as, “I want this in my bag of tricks”… Your just awesome and you inspire this little blogger/designer! xo
      ~Laurie
      Have a fantastic weekend! Whoo hoo!

  4. Laurie,
    Blogging isn’t for sissies, that’s for sure! I totally get what you are saying, it can be all consuming, and can fill you with self doubt. I felt exactly the way you are for months when I started my blog. Little by little though I started to find my own voice, and to realize that all I can offer is my own perspective. I stopped caring if I lost a reader because I offended them, for every one I lost I am sure I gained two more because they could tell I was just being me. So kuddos to you for putting it out there, and for recognizing the struggles. Hang in there and remember that it’s your space on the blogosphere and that you are in charge of it…..it’s nice to have something in life that you get to control 100% :)

    • Hi Kelly,
      You are so right, I will be calling you every morning for a pep talk! ;) Wow, thanks so much for this thoughtful and sweet post! I am so glad to know that I’m not alone in my trek, others have felt this way too… I am working very hard on myself to find that voice, thanks for the encouragement!

      ~Laurie xo

  5. I’m glad that you came to the realization that it all takes time and that you’ve stopped beating yourself up over it. You just planted your seed, now stop digging it up over and over, and just let it grow naturally! And the most important thing is to be yourself and people will naturally gravitate to you. Thanks for sharing and being so honest!

    • I love your analogy, very well said! I’ll use that… I appreciate you stopping by and leaving me that little gem! Thank-you!
      ~ Laurie

  6. Happy Blogiversary and please remember – you are not alone! Have a wonderful weekend!!

    • Awwww thanks Heather! I will have a great weekend, going hunting! ;) You have your self a wonderful weekend too!
      ~Laurie xo

  7. Loved reading this. I also really love Santori Design’s take on it.
    If you didn’t doubt yourself to a degree it would be less honest…you’ll find your way.
    xoK

    • Thanks Karen! I agree, that is one of my biggest weaknesses and my greatest strength all at the same time. I am able to look in the mirror, some days that mirror is way too massive and I just can’t get away from it! ;) I believe I will find my way, I feel like I shed a skin just with that post, ahhhhh! Thanks so much for coming and reading and supporting! your amazing and creative and I admire you very much! xoxo

  8. Don’t worry about how you’re doing. Blog because you love it, not because someone else might like it.

    • Exactly Samantha, that’s what I came to at the end in my purge all over the interwebz. ;) Thanks so much for stopping in and leaving your comment, I appreciate that!

      ~Laurie

  9. I love your voice and honesty and perspective on your blog – makes me feel like we’re chatting together in the same room. Don’t be hard on yourself, although this is the pot calling the kettle black because I am the worst at this! I think we all feel insecure, maybe by being positive and supportive as bloggers we can help each other. All of your positive comments on FB, Instagram, and the blog have really perked up my days since I first connected with you! And don’t forget, in addition to comparing our beginnings to someone else’s middles, we are also comparing our insides to other people’s outsides – that’s a no win for sure! Thanks for an honest post, and thanks for being such a supportive bloggy friend. xo

    • Awwww, seems like we both need to carry a little hand mirror around, you just described your self! At least that’s how I see you! Supportive, sweet and honest! I love reading your posts and your traveling made me feel right there on instagram… I think we’re the best bloggy buds EVER! ;) Thanks for your words, they mean a lot!

      ~ Laurie xo

  10. Wait, just realized the date on this post. You are now way past your 2 month bloggiversary! That’s over 100% increase in blog experience! You’re getting old, girl ;)

    • I feel the age, trust me! lol Thanks for coming back to read my posts… now I can write new ones… been waiten’ on ya… Of course that’s a joke. Hugs!!!
      ~Laurie xo

  11. Had the overwhelming urge to comment. I am in the shoes you were when you wrote this. New and insecure. Your honesty, wit and humor are a breath of fresh air. Thank you

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