There have been some deeply personal things happening in my life that are making me want to stay in bed with my head covered. Oh I’ll list a few, just for fun… husband nearly died in a 4-wheeler accident, laid off from my job, having to sell our beautiful 1854 Farmhouse and moving, loosing our precious pup, Polly. Exactly 3 months after that loosing the person in my life, who was my very first hero, my sweet gentle Father!
I keep thinking, that’s enough… stop this ship, cause I want off! Oh, but it doesn’t stop does it? Life keeps chugging along and bad things keep on happening. It’s getting to the point where I’m afraid to look forward. What next? Really? Yep, licking my wounds and feeling really sorry for myself… until yesterday! Yesterday, I decided that while all of these things are horrible, not nice and really not that positive I am going to look at all of these things as a positive. Yep, I’m coocoo for cocoa puffs! How can I take all of these things and possibly put a silver lining through them?
Well I will dammit and you aren’t going to stop me LIFE! Hear that, LIFE!?
I am choosing gratitude!
I am choosing to be grateful that my Husband recovered from a very broken body, to not only walk again, but do it in a way that he can out run and out do most men half his age. Queue “The 6 Million Dollar Man”…
I am choosing to see that loosing my job was a blessing, it is giving me the opportunity to broaden my horizons, to chase after those creative dreams and adventures that I never had the time for.
I am choosing to make our new home, the 13 year old home ours, it’s a blank canvas really and we’re going to make this place just as charming, just as special as our Farmhouse was. What an exciting challenge!
I am so very grateful for all of our precious moments with our special girl, the laughter, the love and the amazing gentle soul she was. That will never leave us, she will always be missed and the void she has left is still massive, but I have so much gratitude for her, for a person who never even wanted a pet in the first place, well she was so much more than a “pet”, I am forever humbled for all she has taught me!
The hurting is deep, and the loss is great, my Dad, my very first hero. The smartest, funniest and best DIYer ever. MY Dad, taught me sarcasm, he showed me to always see the good in everything, to push through the pain and strive. “Chin up, Ducky, everything will be okay.” I know it will Dad, thank-you for all of your love and pride, it was felt and is felt, everyday! I am so very thankful that I was able to look my Dad in his eyes and tell him how much I loved him, how special he is to me and my life, that is a gift I will always cherish!
This post isn’t supposed to be depressing, but I am finding this difficult to write with tears streaming. This is my way of healing… the way I am choosing to rid my self of the desire to stay in bed all day long with my head covered… shaking that feeling off. Chin up, Ducky!
All of the bad things that have happened and will continue to happen are what make THIS life so very precious. The bad in life is what makes those memories, those renewed creative desires, the special moments you share with the ones you love and hold dear very valuable. These bad times make the way I look at my family and the special people in my life differently… they are life, they are the reason my life is precious and sweet and special. Yes bad things are happening, but I choose gratitude, not for the bad, but for the good. The bad can never out shine that good and I choose GRATITUDE!
Gratitude for that beautiful sunrise… for nature.
For laughter, special moments and true love.
I hope you always choose gratitude, regardless of what chaos is happening in your life. Trust me, I know that feeling of wanting to go to bed, covering your head and saying, “wake me when it’s over”. If you fight through that feeling and choose gratitude, you win!
Thank-you, for listening and being there. xo